It’s not easy coming up with just the right title for a website.  I walked around for weeks thinking about this one, bumping into walls wondering what to choose.

Until God spoke to me, which is rare.

God may speak to you all the time, but I must have a sign on my back written in God only visible ink that says, “Quiet.  Trying to think.”

That day, God spoke to me through the TV. 

This is how it went. 

I was doing my income taxes, with piles of  receipts and W-2’s on the living room floor as I wrote columns in a notebook, thinking about how I’d be more organized next year.  Halfway through the file marked “April” , the television was on to a very popular program by a “homemaker” whom I shall leave nameless because she’s been through so much already.  I was noticing, out of the corner of my eye, that her new, still fresh from incarcerated self was trying to be warmer and more fun than the old person.  All the guests were laughing and being Oh So Happy.

The segment was about how to take care of your cat and the home diva said that every morning she gets up and oils the cat’s nose. 

Not just on Hanukkah or Easter, but every single morning, she takes a little Q-tip and some baby oil and rubs it on the cat’s nose. 

Then I heard The Voice.

“That’s ridiculous." God said,”I made cats’ noses self lubricating.”

I have to admit, I’d always hoped that if I ever heard from God, it would be something a little more profound, but that’s what I got.  And, when you are given a message this clear from the divine, it’s important to pay attention. 

I rolled the dog off the piles of tax documents and dragged her to the other side of the room to prevent possible canine incontinence from causing an unwelcome audit due to blurred laser copies printed with water based ink, and headed to the computer. 

The title was as glaring as a sprig of parsley on a hot dog and as comforting as a harvest gold Frigidaire.